Snakessss alive…

Now this is not a rational thing. But since ophidophobia (or a fear of snakes) is one of the more widespread fears, perhaps it is something that government could, please, give some thought to.

I have never liked snakes. Actually, i remember nightmares about them and, once into my teens, i would drop books that had snake pics in them.

I would skip pages with snake pics.

And i would avert my eyes if a snake hissed its way on to TV.

I have not watched “Snakes on a plane”. I intend never to do so. And i wasn’t exactly happy about the appearance of Nagini in the latest Harry Potter.

Much as i love trans activist and Cambridge Councillor Sarah Brown, i am not sure i could possibly ever pay her a return visit…after discovering, first time around, that her flat is also home to several…how to put this politely…footless reptiles. Ugh! No.

The boy happily explored and made friends with the hissing denizens of Sarah’s flat. I cowered on the sofa.

SO why…oh why, oh why…must Cameron, on returning to take charge of events, have to meet with a large Cobra? Eeeyuw! The very idea makes my flesh crawl.

So, OK. It stands for something as anodyne as Cabinet Office Briefing Room A (and not some Boy’s Own wankronym like Command of Operations Beyond Reasonable Ability).

But still its a snake. And a poisonous one, to boot.

And yes: i’m sure it gives some military types a bit of a buzz to be dealing with a body named after a vicious venomous beast. But not only does it fail to fill me with confidence: it actually makes me even more worried.

So here’s an appeal. Surely, given the brainpower at work in the Cabinet Office it would not be beyond the wit of assorted civil servants to come up with something less horrid.

Maybe CUDDLE (Cabinet Urgently Dealing with Dastardly Lawless Events) would be a bit extreme. And the headlines would be appalling:

Cameron, Clegg, Osbourne go into Cuddle Huddle

But in a world that is so often harsh, grey – and filled with revoltingly venomous serpents – maybe something a bit warmer would be more re-assuring.



2 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Sarah Brown said,

    Ooh, I didn’t realise things were quite that bad.

    If you come back, I shall arrange for them to be kept out of sight, promise.

    Also there will be tea.

    • 2

      eclectic chicken said,

      but she’ll still know they are there…lurking 🙂 I loved meeting your snakes and am a great believer in immersion therapy for Jane.

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