Posts tagged support

This is personal

I cried last night. Long, hard, sad.

I cried and then, because it was far too late, I turned out the light and rocked myself to sleep. Read the rest of this entry »

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Back at last. Not hiding. But definitely tired – which may have been connected ever so slightly to the media froth of the last week or so. 🙂

But not directly, for those who see karma as infusing most everyday activity. Read the rest of this entry »

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In search of support

Of course, the other serious thing that today’s foray into the Guardian (not to mention the documentary coming up in a week or so’s time) is how poorly provided for are those nearest and dearest who pick up the sideswipe from any individual’s decision to transition.

Because at the end of the day, even though so much of the therapic support on offer is directed at the person sat at the centre of the storm, it is often those close by who are in greater need of it – and also less able to access any support. Read the rest of this entry »

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An experiment in helpfulness

As some may have noticed, i have been banging on ad nauseam about name change for quite some time.

Part of that is political: i just don’t see why organisations should be entitled to demand security checks in respect of name change above and beyond the levels that they demand for other trivial stuff (like moving ten grand from one bank account to another…).

A part, too, is simply pedantic. As someone with a lifetime in systems and process design and latterly in linking that to the law, i am just irritated by the way in which some organisations…usually the jobsworths at the bottom of the heap, but sometimes those higher up too…either invent laws on the hoof, or get their own guidelines wrong.

So. I’ve been doing this quietly for a little while. Which is: where individuals are having difficulties with organisations on the name change front, i’ve been giving some guidance, pointing to the right web site, etc. and, on rarer occasions getting on the phone and talking to the organisation.

And yesterday i took a deep breath and started doing that a tad more formally. I shan’t say who for (of course not! the whole point is that this enables that individual to put a bit of pressure anonymously).

Nor, because i think this would very quickly dissipate trust, will i name names of the organisations i am talking to. But let us assume for the purposes of argument that the most likely candidates (since they seem to cause the most difficulty not just for trans folk, but for women who have the gall to marry or divorce, too) include financial institutions, the DVLA, and credit checkers.

Let’s suck it and see…. 🙂


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Things that make you go Wow!

Today was a very very good day. Or at least, a very good morning.

I nipped briefly, cheekily into my friendly local Tesco. Cheekily, because I just happened to be wearing, for the first time ever, the T-shirt I picked up at last year’s Pride march.

I can’t find any pics of the shirt on their own: but its very like the one being worn in the various pic’s on last autumn’s outattesco newsletter (pdf). Because yes: Tesco does support LGBT causes – and the t-shirt is visible evidence of that support

But I’ve been a little bit shy about wearing it because I had this worry that even though the staff at my local Tesco have been nothing but supportive of myself, someone might have thought I was taking the piss. Not to worry! They got it at once: I explained to a couple of managers that this was actually an official Tesco sponsored initiative – and at least one member of staff was quite interested…may even, I suspect, be writing off for her own in the not too distant.

Yay! LGBT Pride comes to deepest Lincolnshire…

So that was first good thing. Second was the lady who accosted me as I walked round: perhaps a few years older than I, grey-haired, but obviously sprightly, and, I’d guess, the 50’s side of 60 still.

“I just wanted to talk to you”, she began, momentarily putting me on my guard. Amazing how self-protective one can become after a year or so of being out and learning to be always on one’s guard against the lone nutter.

But I needn’t have worried. “I’ve seen you around loads of times”, she went on, “and I’ve always wanted to say how wonderful you look: how well you look”.

Oh, wow!

I know: it’s the flip side of being public property. Its probably awfully incorrect for her to be acknowledging my “difference” in this way. But to hell with that.

She was being supportive – and being supportive in the best way she knows how: by breaking a taboo around talking to strangers, walking up to me, and saying something nice.

So it was absolutely appreciated and as I walked off down the aisle about half a minute later, I resisted the urge to punch the air and go “Yay!”.

On the other hand, I think I did manage a very slight skip, much to the surprise of a couple of passing shoppers.


P.S> If you want to know more about Outattesco, they can be contacted via

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