Things NOT to do with an epilator (No. 23)

1. Towel off after a nice warm bath.

2. Lie back on your bed and glare balefully at the peach fuzz that seems to have sprouted over the last couple of weeks on your lower legs.

3. Apply epilator gently to inside of legs. Hmmm: not bad. This isn’t hurting a bit!

4. Startle, as cat lands on your tummy, in search of cat treats.

5. Drop epilator. (Note to reader: at this point, your position is mostly horizontal, with legs sort of directly above the rest of your body. This is lazy upside down epilation!)

6. Squeak, as epilator dives straight down between your legs and begins a valiant assault on your pubes all by itself.

7. Grab frantically at epilator in attempt to pull it away from said sensitive area before it can engage fully.

8. Feel sad sicky feeling in pit of stomach as epilator locks on to pubic hair, clogs, and stops whirring.

9. Squeak even more loudly as your frantic grabbing connects with epilator just after it has locked – and before your brain has had time to register that NOT PULLING would be a very good idea in this situation.

10. Ouch!

11. Roll over gently: switch off epilator at mains; slowly, gingerly turn cogs backward in vain attempt to disentangle aforementioned torture device from pubes without ripping out any additional foliage.

12. Vow never to epilate upside down again.


Jane xx


17 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Kira said,

    ROFLMAO!…. oh, dear!….ROLMAO!

    Sorry, I know I shouldn’t laugh, but…..

  2. 2

    Rachel said,

    Not done that with pubes yet, I epilate my face and have caught my own hair before. That hurt!!!! I will take your advice though, I won’t do any of the above with my epilator. I don’t have a cat though which makes avoiding the situation much simpler 😉 xx

  3. 5

    Did you resort to scissors? Or consider the smooth bonnet high performance look after all?

  4. 6

    Caroline said,

    Bad pussy! ROFLMAO!

  5. 7

    Katrina2 said,

    Not nice, funny yes. Have you tried the Braun Silk-épil7, it has a sheaild to reduce the width of tweezer, so that single hairs are removed, less painfull on pubic hair.

  6. 8

    Katrina2 said,

    O, and yes, it can be used in the bath, as it is rechargable and fully waterproof.

  7. 9

    I love my Braun, but there are still places you must not go!

  8. 10

    Rachel said,

    But it says on the Silk Epil that you can go there. I think Jane needs to work on technique a bit though 😉 I do confess to trying once, it was ouch indeed and left a bit of a mess so once was enough, Correct attachment or not, I will stick to my Venus for any pruning down below.

  9. 11

    debz maher said,

    oh jane!! best giggle this week – even better than one of my gentlemen putting his underpants on with his leg thru the willy hole and then wondering why they were a bit tight!!

  10. 12

    Angela Kay said,

    For NOT epilating the cat, you deserve a medal!

  11. 13

    Shirley Anne said,

    Lesson learned. Cat’s never going to jump on your tummy again, valuing it’s lovely fur coat. I’m still laughing ten minutes later…..

    Shirley Anne xxx

  12. 14

    Cinta said,

    Only this morning I got the skin of my labia caught in an epilator. Oh the pain a d the blood. I won’t be trying that again.

  13. 15

    Erin said,

    Oh my gosh this was too funny. I can’t stop laughing. I cracked up so hard when I read number 6. At least you got a Brazilian.

  14. 16

    Marie Miller said,

    Ha Ha! The epilator that bites back!!! Great post! Recently, minus my glasses, I brushed my teeth with my Canesten Cream. I can tell you it is vile tasting!! Should’ve gone to specsavers…….

  15. 17

    Emma said,

    Hilarious post, I usually use tweezers on the pubic area.

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