Passing phase

Very much looking forward to tonight’s episode of “Transsexual Summer”.

Rather less looking forward to the theme that i know already is gonig to emerge amongst some of the tweeters, along the lines of how “unconvincing” the girls look. OK: that’s slightly better than a thread during the week on the army scut board, which appeared to settle on the consensus that, “if it has a hole, its probably worth fucking”…but that’s military “humour” for you and little to be done about that.

Its a shame. The very idea of judging someone exclusively on looks is something that cis women have had to put up with for a long time: and this is no more than a continuation of rude sexist/misogynist attitudes under another guise.

They are also quite wrong: as i posted several times last week…those not close to the trans community just don’t know. The irony of this programme is, i suspect, that it only works so long as the people in it HAVEN’T fully transitioned.

Because once they have, a fair few just wouldn’t be recognisable as trans: whereas for now, you have mostly pre-op; very early days indeed, in Sarah, and Karen presumably shown at her worst, during the pre-op phase where she has to come off hormones.

There’s personal resonance there, too. A close friend of andrea’s, recently, was overheard describing me: apparently i look just like a middle-aged woman. Hmmmph! Middle-aged! 🙂

But that’s really as it should be.

If anything, i am starting to find passing quite weird. From spending so long looking wistfully over the fence and…just assuming i never would, the boost effect of hormones post-op…my increasing confidence in myself…more and more, i am greeted as Ma’am, no questions asked, referred to as “this lady”…and pretty generally seen wherever i go as female.


The only problem i have…maybe an issue i (half tongue-in-cheek, half not) need to talk thru is that it is taking me by surprise.

No. I never believed it would happen. Wheres now, there are odd occasions where i get “sir’d”…but they are fewer and fewer, and stand out like a sore thumb.

Initially, i thought it was just niceness…political correctness even.

Finally, though, i think i am going to have to start to accept that no: maybe it is real. It is how i am genuinely perceived – and that is beyond my wildest dreams.



8 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Shirley Anne said,

    Why are you so surprised Jane? You are a good looking woman now but yes, it is a wonderful feeling isn’t it?

    Shirley Anne xxx

  2. 2

    I’ve rented out Les Amants du Pont Neuf, an intelligent and touching study of alienation, human nature to watch tonight after I’ve coloured my hair and am thinking that at least after tonight there will only be 2 more of these embarrassing travesties to go.

    As I may have mentioned before there is a silent minority of genuine transsexual people who wouldn’t dream of making themselves available for public ridicule on a show like this and would never allow someone to refer to them as a ‘tranny’.
    Well, to the point…. This weekend has taken on a distinct element of the surreal for many reasons but something happened that I hadn’t counted on. All criticism of the show have been carefully managed and censored but they couldn’t touch my FB page criticism. All weekend I have been receiving supportive mail from sane, intelligent and successful women who are also disgusted by the portrayal of TS’s in MTS. These are people who would never be stupid enough to expose themselves to the gutter media such as 20/20 and be advised by the gender Stalinists at TMW who appear to be plugging this catastrophe at any opportunity they can. When all’s said and done I have come to the conclusion that the TG zoo is it’s own worst enemy when it comes to transsexual people. C’est la vie, the best advice I could ever offer to someone begining their transition would be to avoid the predatory freak show that is the TG scene and don’t let anyone fool you into thinking there is a community, there isn’t.

    The main point of ‘passing’ would appear to be a holistic approach. Some many people seem to put so much store in looking right but like the cast of MTS somehow miss the significance of mannerisms and although it is difficult voice. One of the inmates of TG Big Brother (more self absorbed drivel I don’t watch) simply sounded like a docker ~sigh~ Most of my transition came fairly easily for which I am grateful as it was just a cast of dropping the act of maleness, the voice was the thing I worked on most.

  3. 3

    Shirley Anne said,

    I like that Sophie. At the end you mention the voice and I think anyone who transitions should try to improve the voice. How can anyone be taken seriously if they look like a woman (well some of them) and sound like a docker? It does nothing for them and neither does it do other transsexuals any justice.

    Shirley Anne xxx

  4. 4

    Sarah said,

    My transition was so long ago,and ‘passing’ concerns so much history that I find it difficult to watch this programme. I’m constantly cringing, and I know most of them have a long way to go and that they’ll eventually just be men or women, but at the moment they’re so in our faces and extreme that it isn’t surprising they get the sort of reactions we see on the show.

    I will say one thing though Jane. I was at a convention over the weekend and some young cis women were complaining about the ‘male gaze’ I transitioned so long ago that I have gone through the male gaze stage and into the invisible woman stage and I know that if there’s one thing that’s worse than being noticed, it’s not being noticed. (Especially at work where I’m just not visible to either the men or the women).

  5. 5

    Just had a quick peek at the TMW and The Boycott the shop page, I’m shocked at the bullying thug tactics being employed against the shop in question. Aren’t all those TG people supposed to be against bullying? The veiled threat of arson is unforgivable. Things like this really do bring it home to me what a good decision it was to totally distance myself from the trans scene. I once read something which claimed that Transsexual people, as a group, are more intelligent than average. I have met and spoken to many TS people and in general found this to hold some truth. As for TG people, I have some lovely intelligent friends. I value their friendship. However the mouthy lynch mob mentality of contributors to TG forums would seem to have a considerably lower IQ than the average. As for the ghastly GQ brown shirts, well they’re beneath contempt.

    • 6

      janefae said,

      not seen the arson threats (veiled or otherwise): but if they are being made i think them unwise in the extreme and would certainly NOT support them.


  6. 7

    Please see comment made on the ‘Boycott the bigots -Gorgeous brides and occasions-Wakefield’ page on FB, re ‘picking up the dresses from the ashes’ comment.
    Tg idiots really are their own worst enemies, I just wish they’d leave transsexual people out of their mindless thuggery.

    • 8

      janefae said,

      found it…though not sure that this can be laid at the door of TMW. The group members look remarkably cis (or did i get that wrong?).

      I’ll keep inquiring.


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