Not me! However, since i write pretty comprehensively about sex, sexuality and relationships, i am more than happy to use this blog to distribute stuff that may not be me, but is of wider interest. Basically, so long as its adult and consensual.

A few days back, a commenter asked whether i would post anything about “asexuality”. My reaction was yes: but not me, because i don’t totally get it. And here it is, reproduced without any amends (cause that leaves it faithful to the original).

Since this remains MY blog, i’ll also wonder aloud about how those who know of such things would relate the words below to ideas of “stone”, mostly in lesbian relationships. Similar – or different entirely?

Anyway, here goes:


I posted earlier on one of your blog posts about you possibly doing an article on asexuality, and you asked for more information. Though I’m asexual, I don’t know everything, so I’ll post links to more information at the end of the mail.

Heterosexuals are sexually attracted to the opposite gender.

Homosexuals are sexually attracted to their own gender.

Bisexuals and Pansexuals are sexually sttracted to both genders.

Asexuals do not experience sexual attraction. They make up 1% of the population, or around 70 million people worldwide.

For some reason, many people think that asexuals have a problem. They do not understand that somebody could not want sex and be perfectly fine. This is not true: asexuality is not because of a disease or hormone deficiency.

Asexuals can have romantic attractions, where they would enjoy a relationship with romance, but not sex. I’m personally aromantic as well, but there are many asxual relationsips, and a few asexuals are in marraiges with each other, where they enjoy kissing and cuddling without genitals.

Celibacy is not asexuality. Celibacy is the choice not to have sex, whereas asexuality is having no desire for sex. Most asexuals are celibate, but some are willing to compromise for their romantic partner or have other reasons for being sexually active.

Some asexuals do… er… have sex with themselves, but feel no need to do it with another person, and no attraction to another person.

There is an entire spectrum from the highly sexual to the asexual. Sexuals who have extemely low sex drives but are not asexual classify themselves as grey-A. Sexuals who do not experience primary sexual attraction (from just looking at someone and thinking they’e hot), but do experience secondary sexual attraction (from getting to know somebody and letting your feelings develop) are called demisexuals.

Here are some links:
This is the largest online asexual comunity out there. I’m a member of the forums. It has a lot of good descriptions of asexuality.
The wikipedia article on asexuality.


2 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Shirley Anne said,

    Gosh Jane, reading your explanation makes me wonder if I am asexual now. Once heterosexual as married, then heterosexual once post (bit of a switch) then losing all interest in sex more recently (about three years now) and I have always been the hopelessly romantic. Wanting a relationship that doesn’t involve sexual activity (well maybe kissing or anything else that doesn’t lead to penetration) is fine by me although I have to admit again that I just cannot be bothered!

    Shirley Anne xxx

  2. 2

    Dinaydiac said,

    Thank you so much for posting this! 🙂

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