Pee and pudenda…

There was another question i wanted to ask while i was at my consultant’s mercy. Or two, though i suspect they are closely related.

The first is a matter of simple vanity: there is a definite lopsidedness to my labia – although it seems weekly to be returning to the perpendicular. I am guessing we are still, just about, into early days.

There are bits of scaring not yet healed. There is still – i feel it when i bend down – some internal bruising and, as Mr T explained, the lopsidedness sits mostly on the side where i had my enormous haematoma.

There is still an odds on chance that it will right itself further: nothing to be gained by interfering now. Which sounds like sensible advice and i will possibly be back in three or four months if it is still an issue.

Meanwhile, the second, slightly more embarrassing feature of how my labia seem to sit now is that peeing does not result in an even stream headed down into the bowl. Nope. Instead, it seems to hit my labia on one side, before dribblign down and back.

Embarrassing, messy, irritating – and necessitating far more loo paper than i suspect is good for the environment every time i go to the loo.

Some useful hints from Liz as to technique for peeing. How interesting. I am pretty sure i was doing it right…but food for thought nonetheless. Also, perhaps a minor omission on the instructions that one usually gets post-op.

There’s loads and loads of stuff in there about possible complications: what to do in the case of bleeding, in the case of prolapse or other emergency. A page or two, as well, on technique for dilation: when, where, how and why.

But nothing whatsoever on peeing. Maybe i am just dense: maybe i have a very rare complication. I dunno.

Or maybe it is one of those things that is SO taken for granted that no-one at all imagines that there is any need to give instruction in using the new sprinkler apparatus because its bound to come naturally.

I shall give it a while longer…after which i shall appeal again to Liz for further advice.

Meanwhile, anyone else who has encountered this particular complication, please feel free to drop me a line.



8 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Shirley Anne said,

    Don’t worry pet, most all girls have this problem. The main concern for me that I was able to pass urine in the first place. It takes a bit of experimentation, patience and time to aim straight. Now this is quite a difficult thing to explain in words but I’ll have a go. A demonstration is impossible naturally.It worked for me anyhow. First of all make sure you are seated well back with your crotch open as far as possible then lean sideways in one direction and if not right then the opposite direction coupled with manoevering forwards or backwards till you get it right. Wriggling the buttocks helps with sideways movement. You’ll get there and probably have a few laughs along the way. Hope that helps.

    Shirley Anne xxx

  2. 2

    Lucy Melford said,

    Well, come on, Jane. What exactly were Liz Hills’ peeing tips? (Although Carolyn Ann speaks wisdom too)


  3. 3

    Lucy Melford said,

    I mean Shirley Anne. Sorry, Shirley. How daft of me.


  4. 4

    Ah Jane. Your blog made me smile. this is not included in the information because it’s perfectly normal for cis women too… I suspect few ladies have even stream.. unless they have the unusually neat labia favoured by glossy porn (a good number of which have been redesigned to be less normal!) I don’t have an even stream or neat symmetrical labia.. many of us are very asymmetrical. it’s one of the things sacrificed for different shape genitals. Most of us are lopsided too. yes we need more loo paper. I’ve had to teach one of my daughters to tip her hips forward to make sure she doesnt wee all over the seat. If youre worried about the environment, use recycled loopaper ๐Ÿ˜‰ Good luck.

  5. 5

    hmm my responses seem to not appear ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  6. 7

    eclectic chicken said,

    ooooh…i remember the days when a certain person used to complain about the amount of loo roll the household girls got through…. I remember suggestions about drying it and re-using it (i’m kidding now)!!!

    I also remember complaints about the girls in the house needing the heating on before the end of October and only then if we were wearing jumpers… and how unecological females were on the whole…..

    strange how the complaints have stopped ๐Ÿ˜‰


  7. 8

    paula madcat panther said,

    trans guys have the solution.. it’s a little device they carry around so they can go standing up.. works sitting too ๐Ÿ™‚

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