Turkey baster, anyone?

Phew! Back home…and back to the friendliness of my familiar dilation and, more to the point, douching equipment.

I cannot say how nice it is to be once more inserting something with a nice, smooth rounded tip, as opposed to sharp, ouchy pointy bit.

My verdict on the turkey baster? It did the job…but only just…and only with a great deal more careful manoeuvring to make sure i did no damage. Even then, i think i inflicted one small scratch, which almost had me jumping up thru the ceiling.

In a strange way, its an introduction to yet another marginally feminine aspect of everyday equipment. To begin with, its not an implement i can claim to have possessed before in my life. Ever.

After all, what’s the point? If i’m roasting turkey, i shove it in the oven and baste with a spoon or ladle. The TB strikes me as one of those ineffably seventies gadgets which seems logical at the time – but does little you couldn’t do for yourself with next to no extra effort – and zero added cost.

On the other hand, the TB does have its place in the narrative of artificial insemination: but was it really, ever used for that purpose?

I guess i can see how that might work. A moment or two of discomfort…and then, fingers crossed and wait for your clearblue to post up a positive result.

But definitely you’d need to be really, really wanting the result. Inserting a TB is not for the faint-hearted.

Which leaves me now with just one final question. What to do with a used and abused turkey baster.

Andrea suggests that since it is sterilised and since any relevant usage in future is likely to involve boiling – and therefore most likely sterile – liquid, there should be no objections to it being put back to the use it was originally intended for.

I am a little squeamish at that thought.

Alternatively, she suggests, we could give it away.

Oh! And yuk! (and would we explain its history to the recipient first?)

I think that is possibly the epitome of bad taste. Unless anyone else wishes to convince me otherwise.



3 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Katrina2 said,

    Not just used, but, Abused!

  2. 2

    Circadian said,

    Offer it as a prize to whoever can give the best alternative (um, other alternative!) use for it on this blog šŸ˜‰

  3. 3

    mill said,

    No thanks! I gave up douching a long time ago, it seemed kinda pointless past the first 6 months. Once the sloughing stopped I just seemed better off without it.

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