It takes time

It isn’t meant to feel like this. I’m sure its not. But every time i think we’re back to plain sailing, the post-op fall-out rises up to bite me. This time, very very nastily.

I am (or rather, since i’d hardly be blogging this as it happens, i was!) lying on a bathroom floor. Curled. Its less painful this way.

Its the day after our midnight dash “oop north”, with car on the blink and lack of proper dilating implements. The day itself has been a complete mix. Morning turned quickly to panic with two pretty unfortunate events.

The car’s temperature took a turn for the even worse, so meaning that all plans for the rest of the weekend had to be cancelled. And a panic phone call from my daughter to say she’s been mugged, or at least robbed whilst out and about in Stamford and is very shaky, very tearful…

Do i need to head back south? In the end, probably not: but trying to help her sotrt stuff out from a distance is stressful and its not until a couple of hours later that i feel i can relax a little.

Then its back to the dilation routing, complete with turkey baster, before helping Faith (my hostess for the weekend) prepare for her uncle’s retirement party. Mostly, its good: i enjoy the socialisation, enjoy the atmosphere.

But by mid-evening, i can feel that i am flagging. No. More than flagging. Something hurts…and its getting hurtier.

Ah. Now is not a good time to remember that since i haven’t needed pain relief for the best part of three weeks i have none with me: my stacks of tramadol are safely locked up at home, still.

It gets worse… i feel faint… head upstairs for a brief liedown and maybe a dip. Bathing has become both soothing and addictive.

This doesn’t work. In fact, pretty much nothing works apart from curling up on the floor (which is where we began this post) and making silly animal noises.

How long for? Dunno…maybe i stayed down for about twenty minutes…and then the pain began to subside.

Back up and about a day later, i start to rationalise. Its not the sutures. Nor is it the separations. Weirdly, the greatest pain seems to be where there has been the least work…

I’m guessing…maybe someone else can help me on this…that as things become less numb, so nerves that have been lying dormant are taking one last chance to express their discontent.

The pain also seems to be a little higher than usual…in and around the area of my new clitoris – which also seems, for the first time, to be regaining sensation. But stiff, as though the skin is being pulled.

I dunno…maybe its just i overdid it on the dilation a day earlier…or overdid it on the travel and partying on the night.

Whatever, its sobering reminder that this op is not over quickly. That it still has the potential to inflict pain…and that pain can be as intense as anything i felt in the immediate aftermath of the operation.

Ow! 😦

jane
xx

5 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Pain with no obvious cause can happen after any major surgery as nerves reconnect. In some cases this process takes years. It’s still advisable to get it checked out though, as it’s obviously possible that there could be other things going on. If it’s nerve reconnection, that generally suggests that your body is doing well and you will have more (other types of) sensation down the line.

  2. 2

    Sarah said,

    That bit is where the skin round what was the base of the penis is cut to make the clitoral hood. I had some revision work done there – it was one of the most painful things I have ever experienced. I suspect as nerves reconnect, they take a while to stop hurting.

  3. 3

    Katrina2 said,

    Jane you are right in thinking clitoris. At about this time, it is begining to move (it would seem) forward, from under a hood of skin, at the same time nerve connections are starting to sought them selves out. This can be the most painfull and tireing part of recovery, for me, the discomfit lasted a good 7months tho’ pain did subside. Take things easy, rest, laying on your side, knees bent, you will find this position comfy. It’s all in the journey girl, all in the journey. x

  4. 4

    Christina Steel said,

    Jane,
    Keep in mind the possibility of urinary tract infection. You should be able to buy some effervescant preparations from a pharmacist – Ural – I’m not familiar with brands in the UK. Make the urine less acidic.

  5. 5

    Circadian said,

    Best wishes to your daughter. That type of thing can be very testing – makes you feel very vulnerable. Still, she comes from good family (and has good family support) so should work out ok.
    As to your sudden pain, while I cannot give any support from experience, I think I’ll go along with Jennie – a quick visit to the doctor is worth it, even if only to confirm what others here have said. Hopefully it’s all just part of the settling in to your new body. Glad to hear that it’s now (mostly!) going well for you.


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