In pieces…

In tears to my GP.

Now the pct is playing silly buggers over funding…first off, they can’t mix private and public…and as the grs is being done privately, they objected.

GP pointed out to pct that I need these final tests irrespective of the grs…that even if I wasn’t having grs, I’d have to have them done fairly urgently. And the clinic does offer this service on the NHS anyway…so hopefully that is sorted.

They’re two separate things…it just so happens that the clinic doing my grs can also offer to do a couple of tests.

Next up, there’s still a small price difference between the NHS tariff cost and the clinic cost of this procedure. So-o… not sure they can sanction it and no: I am not allowed to pay the difference!

Feel dreadful doing this, but pointed out to the GP the actual clinical implications of not having this done: that I would have to go back on hormones, then come off them again, with all the implications that has and maybe back on the anti-androgen, which costs about as much as the differential anyway…not to mention that I am utterly on edge.

On edge? I am falling apart.

If the op gets delayed, they’ll be picking up the tab of major psych trauma to boot.

FFS… PLEASE!!!!

jane
xx

26 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Paula said,

    welcome to the world of the NHS trans patient.. see why so many of us have major mental health problems.. the ones who survive and don’t just swallow a bottle of pills at some point ? I have had 12 years of this type of shit.. 12 years!

  2. 2

    Jane,

    Sorry to say but most of us TS’s (I transitioned 6years ago and still haven’t had surgery – through my choice as the HRT has had a huge advantage long term) Know through in depth research that Private and NHS DON’T mix…….Why didn’t you go through the NHS in the first place……?
    Also you do realise that any revision of surgery (and you WILL more than likely need revision) will have to be paid for at a cost of £1,000 + each time!
    I have to be brutally honest but I really think that you are seriously RUSHING into this whole thing without doing your research first…!

    Tamzin.

    • 3

      janefae said,

      thanks for that. really helpful. not.

      i think i was well aware that public/private don’t mix…but over the years i’ve worked with most systems to come up with ways to deal with processes.

      The issue here has bugger all to do with the grs and everything to do with the fact that a routine test that i undertook pre-op turned up a condition with a very minor risk of being something serious and i need further tests done pre-op just to clear up. In the course of the run-up to surgery, i have done umpten tests and i am sorry to say that i haven’t done my research on those either. I was not especially aware that “blood in urine” might be a serious indicator of anything (99 times out of a 100 it isn’t) – though since yesterday i have been reading up on it and apparently there are the best part of a dozen medical conditions that it COULD act as indicator for.

      So no. I didn’t research those (anything from kidney stones to prostate cancer). Nor did i research all the possible downside outcomes of all the other tests i have taken…though to be honest, if i had done so, i’d have ended up with half a medical degree.

      What is the point you’re making? That only medical students should be allowed to transition?

      There is absolutely no issue here over my grs. Nor over the tests which, in the ordinary run of things, the NHS would happily pay for. Unfortunately for me, the results have come thru late. The guy at my GP practice who would otherwise have done the extra tests is on hols til monday. And therefore i need to get the tests done in a rush.

      I didn’t research the test guy’s holiday rota either. My bad!

      jane
      x

      • 4

        Circadian said,

        There are times when you can over-research something, and just end up scaring yourself! Reminds me of one of the stories my grandfather told. At one time in his youth (in the 1920s I think), he actually ended up trying to sell encyclopedias, one of which was a medical volume covering all sorts of symptoms and exotic diseases. He said you could tell the ones who had actually read that one by the tales overheard in the pub about how unsympathetic doctors were in checking for all these strange ailments that the people suddenly were scared they had…
        I know this is a tough time, but this is where the good old fashioned deep breaths and positive attitude really help. You have a lot of people on your side to help you keep your spirit up, so stay positive and keep right on moving ahead!
        Long-distance internet-type hugs!

    • 5

      eclectic chicken said,

      then your research is wrong… its fairly easy to juggle elements of NHS and private its just most people don’t seem to have the nouse to do it and once they become part of the NHS churn are terrified of stepping off the production line for fear of having what little they are given taken away.

      Look at the post above to see why Jane has gone private…12 years is an appalling amount of time to be in the NHS process. She’s lucky she can afford to pay for her op privately…she shouldn’t have to given the amount of tax she’s paid into the system over the last few decades… but she can (even if it means we can’t afford a lot of other things)… personally I’d rather do without the new kitchen or holidays etc than see Jane cowed by a system that grinds people down and is purely an exercise in gatekeeping and psychiatric onanism.

      But thanks for the positive input at this fragile time in our lives.

  3. 6

    Mary Bradley-Cox said,

    Oh Jane I am so sorry and hope and pray that these problems will be sorted. I can’t believe that the NHS can be so heartless as to do this to you.

  4. 7

    Jane Bloggs said,

    What a nightmare. I hope it can all be sorted out , and soon.

    Also, there is so much infomation to assimilate in relation to every part of transition (let alone surgery) that it can become an utter head fuck. Especially when you think you have the infomation you need only to discover that there are ten other options/opinions than what you have been told or have learnt.

    For anyone to assume that you of all people don’t know how to do their reserch only shows how little they know about you as a person (I guess googling “Jane Fae” is to difficult for them to do…).

    I’ll be thinking of you Jane, and I hope these issues get resolved.

    xx.

  5. 8

    Jane

    Patronising someone who is just trying to give you their honest advice from years of research really isn’t very becoming of you.
    Or do you want it the sugar coated TG way of just agreeing with you?

    “i think i was well aware that public/private don’t mix…but over the years i’ve worked with most systems to come up with ways to deal with processes.”
    I think this is one system that could quite well beat you…!

    “The issue here has bugger all to do with the grs”

    It has everything to do with GRS if you don’t know the pitfalls and don’t do your research from start to finish, blood in your urine is only a small hiccup compared to revision surgery from a prolapsed “outdated” surgical technique which will more than likely give you just a hole to pee from and not a FULLY functional inner+outer labia sensate vagina.

    “What is the point you’re making? That only medical students should be allowed to transition?”

    No not at all…..But I do know what I am talking about after 6years of transition…..unlike someone that has only just been taking hormones for a year!
    I could have had surgery from Charing Cross 2years ago but turned it down flat after being told “If you want the DELUXE version then yes you should have hair removal”
    UK surgeons have such an offhand attitude as it is only money to them…..they DON’T appear to care about you after surgery.

    Tamzin

    • 9

      janefae said,

      i don’t think i was patronising, because i suspect you do have knowledhge and experience of what you are talking about in general.

      Rather, i was being ironic or, if you’d prefer, sarcastic. I am not looking for total agreement or sugar coating…but to be honest, i find your comment at this juncture both unhelpful and yes – it does feel like you haven’t quite grasped what i am talking about. Also, i don’t have much time for someone who decides to lecture me about my presumed ignorance of a subject without themselves having done an ounce of research on it.

      The subject in question being MY awareness of risks and issues. Since i have signed about three consent forms to date listing all the risks you mention above and more and twice had a specialist take me thru them in graphic detail, together with the ikelihood of each risk occurring, i think i am pretty clued in to what might go wrong.

      We are talking PRE-OP blood in urine…something that affects a hell of a lot of people.

      So what’s your point? That there is some sort of mystical condition that affects people before surgery leading them to bleed sympathetically?

      And if you read the posts, you will notice that the issue here is not that the NHS is objecting to picking up the tab, but that its ability to do that and find me a facility where that can happen in the short time scale left is limited.

      jane
      x

  6. 10

    @Jane Bloggs

    “Also, there is so much infomation to assimilate in relation to every part of transition (let alone surgery) that it can become an utter head fuck.”

    Sorry but that is EXACTLY why you don’t rush into GRS without talking to other TS’s and reading other people’s experiences!

    Yes I have done a search for Jane Fae on Google….. What’s your point….?

    Tamzin.

  7. 11

    @eclectic chicken

    “Look at the post above to see why Jane has gone private…12 years is an appalling amount of time to be in the NHS process.”

    I’m sorry but where the hell did you get that figure from….My Fiancée has been all of 3 times to before Charing Cross said they were happy to write a letter of referral to surgeons in Thailand..!
    Apart from the admin at Charing Cross GIC people like Stuart Lorimer have been more than helpful and instrumental in helping us to access services, and we have no complaints, the only time they will stall treatment is when they are suspicious of underlying psychological conditions of a patients mental health.

    Tamzin.

    • 12

      eclectic chicken said,

      as i said..the post above. There is a comment from someone 12 years in the system. Ive no idea why they’ve been in there that long but it happens.
      One of the main reasons it happens (as you no doubt know from your research over the years) is that a lot of trans people come to transition with mental health problems caused in many cases by their dysfuntionality in life becuase they are trans.
      If hormones were used a sa diagnostic tool as opposed to a prize to be handed out to those who say the right things to the psychs a lot more poeple would move transition a lot easier.

      Its a farce that as a perimenopausal cis woman I get offered HRT as a matter of course just to try ‘and see if it makes your life better’ whereas transwomen have to jump through psychiatric hoops to gain same.

      Every trans journey is different… you may be fine on hormones… for some people the body dysphoria is more important. Some people come to transition with a lot to learn about the non physical aspects of being female… others have been there all their lives. You may have been on hormones for 6 years… but I don’t see that has any relevance to anything…as your research skills and comprehension are probably more pertinent to this conversation.

  8. 13

    @Jane Fae

    “i don’t think i was patronising, because i suspect you do have knowledhge and experience of what you are talking about in general.”
    “Rather, i was being ironic or, if you’d prefer, sarcastic. I am not looking for total agreement or sugar coating…but to be honest, i find your comment at this juncture both unhelpful and yes – it does feel like you haven’t quite grasped what i am talking about. Also, i don’t have much time for someone who decides to lecture me about my presumed ignorance of a subject without themselves having done an ounce of research on it.”

    You know what they say about Sarcasm…and isn’t that rather an oxymoron statement..!
    and if you think that 6years of talking to and seeing the results first hand of other Post-Op Women, not doing my research….that’s a whole new definition of being ill-informed.
    No matter at what juncture you are at it seems only right that you hear both sides of the story, I wish you the best of luck in sorting everything out but we have all paid a lot money into the system and the NHS system ISN’T as bad as a lot of people are making out.

    Dr Richard Curtis has become notorious for distributing negative publicity for Thai surgeons (check out the “Thai surgeon’s are bad” pamphlet scandal) he is also NOT a Gender specialist, merely a GP with dazzling business qualifications.

    “The subject in question being MY awareness of risks and issues. Since i have signed about three consent forms to date listing all the risks you mention above and more and twice had a specialist take me thru them in graphic detail, together with the ikelihood of each risk occurring, i think i am pretty clued in to what might go wrong.”

    Consent to basically do whatever they want (don’t forget that Mr Bellringer has get the surgery down to 2hours!……It takes longer than that to do a root canal) after speaking to a surgeon friend who was totally dismayed at this “Speed” surgery. and not to be sued for any complications.

    Tamzin.

  9. 14

    andrea said,

    can you find any other scare stories to lay on Jane just before she goes under the knife?

    Would you like me to reciprocate with all the scare stories about what happens when you stay on hormones too long? Or maybe some about having surgery in Thailand and the NHS not wanting to touch resulting complications with a bargepole?

    Nah…I think I’ll save them for when you eventually get round to having your cock cut off (unless it atrophies and drops off with Fourniers first)

  10. 15

    @Andrea

    “Nah…I think I’ll save them for when you eventually get round to having your cock cut off”

    I’m sorry but that is a VERY sour male way of putting things….!
    FYI…..It doesn’t get “cut off”…..it’s donor material for the labia minora, labia majora and the tip for the clitoris you ignorant fool.

    • 16

      P.S. I already know all the Contraindications of staying on the hormones for a lengthy period…!

    • 17

      andrea said,

      no shit…. i thought they cut it off and stuck a yoghurt pot on.

      And don’t try and insult me by implying my mind works in male ways…. I’m male brained .. so quite happy to bat insults back and forth like blokes do.

      You’ve upset my partner today by wading in with your steelies three days before surgery…. so I suggest you fuck off and go and spend some time in your wardrobe contemplating your crimes against fashion. darling.

  11. 18

    You’ve upset my partner today by wading in with your steelies three days before surgery…. so I suggest you fuck off and go and spend some time in your wardrobe contemplating your crimes against fashion. darling.

    Sorry if the TRUTH hurts, but I hear this every day from naive Transsexuals, especially ones that just want tits for the weekend..!

    • 19

      so I suggest you fuck off and go and spend some time in your wardrobe contemplating your crimes against fashion. darling.

      Jealousy doesn’t get you anywhere either…!

    • 20

      andrea said,

      nope… nothing to do with truth or otherwise. Your ignorant and rude heavy-handed approach is what was offensive.

  12. 21

    All your wealth and wisdom and you still have to resort to swearing……so sad.

  13. 23

    Hannah G said,

    That went well. Shame, unnecessary.

  14. 24

    Amy Gerrard said,

    Hi, Jane

    I would just like to say how sorry I am for your current situation. I am also appalled at how yet again, when a collective of Trans people get together, it always seems to end up in some angst-ridden diatribe. I am truly sorry about your experiences and I hope you can find some solution. But trading insults and anger between yourselves isn’t helping nor is it making you feel better.

    I’ve been Post Op a few years now and I went via the Private route with Russell Reid, then my referral via Dr Curtis and onto Thailand and Dr Chettawut. I will admit, Dr Curtis did inject his (what I instantly read) was his dismay that I was going to Thailand but I argued my corner logically in favour of the Thai-based surgeons and totally eradicated his argument, which to me seemed very much on shaky ground anyway.

    My knowledge of the NHS was done by research, observation and getting feedback from people who had been through it, and I found the NHS attitude to be rather frustrating. I also didn’t like the attitude towards SRS surgery, the overt arrogance of Dr Bellringer, the 2.5 hour operation time (very scary), and the aftercare which from what I heard, was like ‘telephone support’.

    I am just grateful that I had the money to go private and evade the hassles of the NHS sector, but my transition isn’t helping you. I think the worst possible process you could have chosen is the NHS route as I feel you would have been better considering private from the off.

    How are your funds? If you have the money available, wouldn’t it be better to consider pulling out of this annoying NHS loop?

    • 25

      janefae said,

      Hiya.

      Thanks for the support…though maybe my post wasn’t totally clear. I went private…always was going to…and am now very happily post op myself

      The real prob turned up just a week before I wad scheduled for grs, when routine tests raised a scare around blood in my urine.

      That meant I needed I absolutely needed checking out for various life threatening conditions before the surheon would agree to operate…and while the tests needed were routine and I could have them on the nhs, getting them organised inside seven days was the real prob.

      The hospital doing the grs said they could do them, at which point, because my grs was private, my healhh trust objected that I was trying to combine private and nhs funding.

      I wasn’t and in the end they agreed to pay. Lao the tests proved negative.

      My stress was because until 24 hours pre op I wasn’t sure how some necessary non-grs related tests were to be funded…and because the last trst would be done after I was anaesthetised.

      So is go under for my grs, not 100% sure til I Woke if it would happen.

      In the end, it did. No complications… And I live the result.🙂

      Jane x

  15. 26

    Amy Gerrard said,

    Hi, I am glad that things are better for you. After my surgery in Thailand I got Dr Curtis to write a letter to my then GP and they agreed on a process called ‘Shared Care’ and since then I have had to have at least one blood test a year (used to be two) with my local Hospital and see an Endocrinologist. I have had no issues at all and everything has gone smoothly.

    But that’s great news that its all progressed much better for you.🙂


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