Rude topic :)

What with all this fuss about trans women using female loos, there is one slightly less worthy thought that does cross my mind from time to time. And it is this.

Many of the blokes who get so up in arms about trans women in the female loos in some way insinuate that we go in there and “stand to pee”.

Really? Obviously, that’s a pretty daft suggestion if you’re post op. But do any trans women stand, to pee, pre-op?

I don’t. Not once since the day i started to transish.

Partly out of respect (cause i get, now, just what a pain it is to share loos with that half of the species that splatters all over the place). Part getting the habit. Part…i dunno.

All sorts of stuff. Like learning how to pee when you’re trying to fight your way through magic pants, a full skirt and an underskirt. And psychology.

Anyway, i did sort of imagine that trans women all sit (anyone prepared to confess they don’t).

I also had a sneaky wonder about what trans men do.

πŸ™‚

jane
xx

9 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Jennie Kermode said,

    I wonder if a bit of this is due to their unfamiliarity with women’s toilets in general. They may not have really thought about the existence of cubicles. Actually, a fair number of cis women stand to pee, as they either find it comfortable or consider it more hygienic than using toilet seats that have been used by strangers, but of course they (usually) do it in those private spaces.

    The notion that men stand and women sit is another of those odd constructions we take for granted and assume is all about biology. Biology does bias it that way – especially after giving birth, women may not have the necessary muscles to direct the flow neatly – but it’s not the whole of the story.

    • 2

      andrea said,

      when you say a fair number of cis women stand to pee…do you mean the semi-stand hover one does for hygene or that they actually stand and squeeze the labia in a way that directs the flow (more like a traditional male wee)…or do more women carry a she-wee in their bag than I ever imagined?

  2. 3

    Lucy Melford said,

    Surely Jennie meant hovering, facing the cubicle door, to keep your bottom off the toilet seat if it looks wet (little girls can dribble) or in any way doubtful. Mind you, it isn’t a position that’s easy to hold for long without some practice!

    I have always sat down, if necessary on a layer of tissue paper. At first, after the abject terrors of going through the ‘Ladies’ door, and then waiting for a free cubicle, sitting down seemed like a hard-earned priviledge, a reward for courage and self-belief. I wasn’t going to waste the moment. And besides, it seemed essential for the feet to point the right way, just in case any kids were fooling around and looking under doors. Or the cleaner was checking whether anyone was inside. Or – silly of me to not think of this at the time – a group of US Christians were making spot checks for Men in Women’s Restrooms. Nowadays of course I’d be able to flash my credentials at them, and insist on their arrest.

    Lucy

  3. 5

    Carka said,

    Since I’m uber-cautious about making large decisions, I always test out as many safe aspects as possible before committing to something – consequently, I’ve stood up to urinate only twice in the last two years, and I’m only just starting transition (stupid waiting lists, grr, etc. etc.).

  4. 6

    Christina Steel said,

    As far as men objecting to us using the women’s toilets, how much is morbid jealousy? We have access to the ultimate private sanctum – a public toilet. Exciting, eh! And women standing. I think it’s more politely referred to as kangarooing. Sorry

    Please, what’s so facinating, or shocking, about being in the same room when another woman is having a pee. Is it that different than a group of men standing at a trough, pretending to not notice. The only real difference is the occasional queue, and an opportunity to socialise.

    I appreciate some women may have an anxiety about a phallus being so close when they’re most vulnerable. The real question is about passing, which comes with confidence. Your body does change – skin & muscle tone soften, we loose the 5 o’clock shadow, our body finally develops properly. Are people really interested in what you’re doing behind that cubicle door. McDonalds encourage intravenous drug use, by placing needle bins in every cubicle.

    I’m 6 foot tall, so standing in a women’s loo is not a good look. It’s never happened in over 25 years – women don’t peak over.

    I’m to focused on using the toilet to worry if the gender non-conforming woman in the adjoining cubicle is standing or sitting.

  5. 7

    katrina2 said,

    I agree with Christina, confidance. Standing in a queue; Cheltenham race day festival 10mins getting pass the attendant; and being shown to a cubical, was thee most scaryiest moment ever, it need not had been, not a akward moment. I followed what appeard to be a custom, after washing hands check hair; hat; Not makeup, Place a tip on a plate on exiting whilst thanking the attendant. How utterally quaint and civilized.

  6. 8

    Spirifer said,

    Someone once told me that Japanese women stand on the loo seat to pee. I have no idea whether that’s true, but once in New Zealand I was waiting in the inevitable queue and we could hear scrabbling and banging noises coming from a cubicle. Eventually a tiny, elderly Oriental lady emerged, clutching a large banana. Any cultural or language differences were cast aside as all the women in the queue burst out laughing, as did the lady with the banana.

  7. 9

    Afon said,

    I always stand if I’m presenting as a bloke in the gents, though I almost always use a cubical (always have, I’ve never been able to pee with other men close by). When presenting as a woman, I always sit in a public loo. So far, the only issues I’ve had are men double checking the sign n the door as I exit the gents, and this is when I’m supposed to be presenting as a bloke!


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