From brother…to sister

Today/yesterday was a minor landmark and personal celebration. A year to the day, pretty much, since i started on the hormones.

Yessss!

To say my life has changed is under-statement although, before i receive the obligatory barrage of e-mails pointing out it is NOT just about the hormones, of course: i am more than slightly aware of that and, the further down the path i travel, the more and more aware i am that it is something else, something more subtle, something far more inside.

That and…the fact that this week, out and about, shop assistants and the like have mostly been greeting me as “Madam”.

Hmmm. Not altogether sure about that. Makes me sound like an aging, er, Madame. On the other hand, if they opted for “Miss”, maybe i’d start to feel spinsterish.

Still, that’s another sign of progress…that i can even start to debate the correct FEMALE title, as opposed to being constantly niggled by the fact of being “sir”‘d all the time. In fact (and now its BOUND to happen tomorrow) i am starting to get this urge to count off the days since anyone did say sir to me.

I keep expecting it: keep, now, being pleasantly surprised when it doesn’t come.

Anyway, for the voyeurs amongst you who also happen to be Facebook friends (and if you aren’t, just ask: i’m not that shy!), i have today added yet another modest pic to my set of transition prints.

Preparing myself for the ordeal (OK…turning the bathroom unbreathable with a cloud of hairspray!) i glanced at myself in the mirror and smiled. For maybe the first time ever, i felt the face smiling back at me was female…or at very least, more female than anything else.

I had a distinct lump in my throat and…yes: i shed a quiet tear. Of happiness.

Which instantly wrecked my mascara.

Meanwhile, looking back over a year’s worth of pics, i notice the oddest of things. My last pre-transition pic very much ressembles my brother.

OK. A slightly less bald version of him (sticks tongue out at Misz, in case he’s reading this!).

The latest pic, one year on, and i am definitely becoming, if not quite twin to, at least decidedly closer in appearance to my sister. A younger version thereof, too!

I don’t think that will please her.

I guess the one other out-take from this is just how fast and at the same time how slow it all is. Looking back over the months, i’ve jumped on each and every change with an eagerness probably undeserved by the extent of the actual change.

Comparing now to then, though.

Oh, girl…how far you’ve come!

jane
xx

3 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Rachel said,

    Oh, girl…how far you’ve come indeed!

    They certainly have made a difference. All this tosh about hormones not doing much for middle aged people like us. We just look like middle aged women that’s all. You would think for the comments from some parties that they expect them to knock 20 years off our lives too!

    That’s said. I’m off next month to have my face ripped off and stuck back on again for my own vanity. Oh well.

    You look fantastic and happy and that’s all that matters.

    Rachel X

  2. 2

    Circadian said,

    Like the smile – says it all really🙂

  3. 3

    Christina Steel said,

    Last week I was very brave – a first for me on Facebook. I posted a very recent photograph of myself. My cousin promptly commented how much I resemble my mother. I’ll leave it there ;-(


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