I seem, at present, to be stuck in the middle of my very own catch 22. In order to progress to surgery, I need to be hair free in what will one day be my “lady bits”. Fairly obvious, when one thinks about it – though totally unobvious to most people until they do so.
Cause skin that is presently on the outside will eventually be on the inside, and the last thing one wants there is going to be bristle! Ouch! Ouch ! Ouch!
So. Like all those who have walked this path before me, I hied me down to London last week for my first electrolysis treatment, except…
They wouldn’t. Because, courtesy of my “minor” heart condition, I am on aspirin (I know: various health professionals have slapped my wrist for referring to any heart attack as “minor”, but it was a long time ago and about as minor an event as it could be).
Aspirin can cause bleeding: and those who do the electrolysis will not electrolyse (as it involves the insertion of needles) in case I subsequently bleed lots and, presumably, have complications.
Grrrrr! I’ve had a minor op down there last year and didn’t bleed out. I’m happy to lie down for a couple of hours, take a friend, wear tight bandages. Even – irony of ironies – wear a pad. But no. The decision needs to be bounced back up to my specialist.
Meanwhile, I’ve asked my gp about coming off the aspirin for a bit. She can’t stop me, she says, but would be very very unhappy if I did. Because of the hormones: both the oestrogen and the anti-androgen come with an increased risk of dvt. So I need my blood to stay clear.
This can’t be right. I can’t possibly be the first trans woman to enter the final sprint toward the op line with a heart condition and aspirin. And I’m otherwise healthy. I dance. My cholesterol hovers at the 2.5 mark, occasionally dipping below 2.0 (which I am told is brilliant as the national guidelines is to aim for below 5. My bmi is in the normal range for maybe the first time in twenty or thirty years.
I have whizzed off a letter to specialist, and am awaiting a reply. Failing everything else, I will take a risk: I just need to know which is the least worst case. Right now, a bit of bleeding feels nowhere near as bad as dvt – so I am tempted to go for the electrolysis regardless.
Meanwhile, I decided to make the best of a bad job, and go for some laser. Ouch! OMG! Ouch!
I have now discovered the two most painful experiences in my life, both related to hair. The first was epilation applied to my back, which reduced me to tears: the second, last week, was a laser applied to parts that were never meant to take such heat.
No tears this time (was over too fast) but I think it counts as even more painful.
I wonder if I really, really want to find out how the electrolysis feels.