Taking the eternal biscuit

Do you have a surplus of Victoria choccie biscuits?

Like many another homemaker, I was suckered by Tesco before christmas. When I say suckered, I mean I kept a close eye on the various half price, three for price of one and the like offers they ran in the two months running up to the season of festivity.

I was, of course, especially lured by promises of half price biccies, cheap roses (the chocolate ones, of course) and half price turkeys. In fact, I probably did what a lot of others did at the time, which is to stock up on various small sweet items on the grounds that they made suitable last minute presents or stocking fillers for distant relatives.

Result: loads of tins of cho biscuits, shortbread, roses, half price ferrero rocher and the like.

The main flaw to this approach was not so much of my making, but became clear after the event: great minds think alike. Or perhaps those with similar socio-demographic backgrounds tend to buy the same stuff from the same place.

So, come christmas, like some slow motion practical joke, I began the grand tour of friends and relatives, with half a dozen tins of sweet things all carefully gift-wrapped and be-ribboned.

I should of course have guessed. I would hand over a tin of biscuits and – in return – I would receive a tin of biscuits.

Everywhere I went, I saw the uniquitous Victoria Biccies. Or, visitng the slightly more cheapskate, the less attractive Fox’s selection.

I would habe over biccies – and get biccies in return. I’d give away a tin of roses or quality street and get two boxes in return. And so it went.

By the end of the season, I was slightly in profit, having given away three tins of one biscuit species – and received four. Somewhere, lurking on a garage shelf, are three carotns of roses.

This could, of course, turn into an elaborate parlour game – or ongoing tradition – with my circle just circulating the same tins each season. Add in easter biscuits and the possibilities are endless.

I mean, so long as no-one ever bothered to open any of the tins, honour would be satisfied, and savings scored all round.

Now there’s a plan!

jane
xx

4 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Lucy Melford said,

    Go on, Jane. Throw them all in the bin now, at once. Whatever their utility in parlour games, tins of sweets and biscuits tend to get opened in moments of weakness and tucked into. Then you will balloon, and experience grief and self-loathing. Into the bin, I say, and then post up a description of the act as a Triumph of the Will.

    Lucy

  2. 2

    Jill said,

    I do know a certain staff room is always very grateful for any donations or contributions to brighten up their day ……
    You know what they say – a biscuit a day keeps the teacher away, lol

  3. 3

    janefae said,

    oh dear…the problem that both of you have is that…well, i am not exactly the main biscuit eater in this household. Or, to put it into perspective…i believe that out of the myriad boxes of chocs i was presented with at xmas, i have eaten just the one ferrero rocher since.

    As for biscuits… maybe two or three in the last month.

    Which does leave the mystery of where the balance has gone.

    Basically, tine of biscuits gets left in backroom. the boy, his teen ssters and andrea descend like a cloud of locusts…and a little later there is an empty tin. A sort of biscuit exoskeleton, if you like.

    So: Lucy…i have been an incredibly good girl despite the fact that the hormones seem to have slowed my metabolism to a crawl and i am do feel hungry at times. 😦

    and Jill…will see what we can rustle up. some consolation chocs if nothing else.
    🙂

    jane
    xx

  4. 4

    I have a wife who is very good at disposing of anything chocolate. Give her half an hour and a good chic-flick and they will bother you no more!


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