A sort of business plan

The boy – like, I guess, many at his age – seems to obsess about intricate numeric detail without actually understanding what that detail means.

He will come out with observations like: “that will cost at least a hundred and a millions and four pounds”, which translates fairly obviously into “that’s expensive”.

And he is definitely ambitious. This morning, he started out, during our journey to school, with an observation that in order to make some money (hmmm.. a recurrent theme…perhaps he will one day appear on Alan Sugar’s “Apprentice” lark) we should buy some lottery tickets.

Three, in fact. Only – and here’s the cunning bit of his plan – we should make sure that the tickets we buy all win lots of money. Something tells me he hasn’t quite grasped the concept of a lottery yet.

However, it was his musings on the world of work that have me reeling. In the course of the same journey, he informs me that when he is older he is going to have a company. And his company will earn £8 million a day.

OK. So we’re definitely into FTSE 500 territory here. But – here’s the twist: “if I don’t get 8 million a day, I will have six people shot”. I am not sure whether to be chilled by the proposition – or stunned by the detail.

£8 million vs. six people. I think that’s about the same level as gets used for putting a value on people when risk assessing new rail projects!

Totally homicidal. Still, it is a business plan, of sorts.



3 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    andrea said,

    On the walk home from school he’d toned his plans down to getting centipedes to pick blackberries for him to make jam out of…he himself will then take them out to sell in a box thing with string that goes round your neck (like an usherette sells iced cream i guessed) and he’ll soon make a million pounds.

    I asked how much a jar of jam would cost.

    Answer: £1000

    thus followed quite a long discussion about transporting your product, pricing your product and finding customers….

    He eventually toned down to £10 a jar and only to people we know who live nearby as then its less far to carry it and they’ll pay up becuase they know him.

    Maybe if they don’t he’ll have them shot 🙂

  2. 2

    Liz Church said,

    The megalomania should wear off in the next year or so. If not, he can be a media mogul when he grows up 🙂

    Would he like to guest edit the Daily Turnout?

  3. 3

    I couldn’t help but snigger. Has he chosen his cat and monocle yet?

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