Well…apart from displaying a disappointing amount of overt homophobia in his daily comments, he continues to adjust. I say “overt homophobia”: that’s not exactly it. It is obvious that, despite the best efforts of teachers and parents, there is an ongoing playground tendency towards heteronormativity.
So: its normal for a boy and a girl to get married. Not so for two boys. Or girls. He is picking up a sense of otherness about gay relationships, which is a shame, given that in his day-to-day dealings, he is exposed far more to people and events and things that fall outside the average.
Personally, I am not altogether bothered. Yet. He is 5: he is repeating stuff that other 5-year-olds say…and because he does repeat it, we, as parents, have the opportunity to challenge it.
One of his favourite put-downs of myself, at present, is “you’re a girl, you are”. The problem is, I rather take that as compliment, and make it clear to him that I do. Which definitely discombobulates him.
No: I’d be worried if he was still coming out with some of this stuff at 10 or 11 – in much the same way that it would worry me if at that age he still believed that the simplest solution to any dispute was to kill the person who disagreed with you. I don’t think he will.
Meanwhile, he and his friends continue to amuse with their take on the world. According to the boy, last week, his school were addressed in assembly by some “bastards of sport”. We believe – we hope – that these were merely the local “sports ambassadors”. Otherwise we do not know what he could mean.
And another mum tells us of a breakfast conversation that she had recently. It began with discussion of a work colleague who was transitioning (FtM)…moved on through talking about myself as comparison point, and then to the fact that if one felt uncomfortable with one’s assigned gender, it was possible to change.
Drugs and operations and the like.
Oh, piped up the youngest, who is also one of the boy’s classmates: so you can be operated on to be what you want?
Well, I’d like to be a fish. Can they do that?
Hmmm. Medical science advances rapidly year by year. But not quite that rapidly.