“It”, of course, is what the dim-witted kids and occasional transphobe I meet whilst out and about hurl at me. You get accustomed to insult and after a while, you learn to shrug and walk on by.
“She” is what I am called at home, by friends, and increasingly by those who deal with me regularly. I think…I hope…that this says something about how I come across and what I project, as opposed to my ability to wear clothes and make-up in sufficiently persuasive fashion to enable me to “pass”.
And “he” is what is still get in far too many places. Today, f’rinstance, I was out shopping and…one assistant happily chatted to me as Jane: used my name, that is. Another, however, chipped in from the sidelines with a comment about “he” did so-and-so.
Do I mind? Well, no. And yes. I said at the outset that I was not going to aim for “passing” as some abstract objective: either it happened or it didn’t. I said the same sort of thing recently to my gender specialist, and he commented about how it helped and how some people found it useful.
Dunno. For me, there is a subtle difference between expending too much energy and angst on aiming for something that feels nigh on impossible: and liking that result when it does happen. I’m a bit like that with slimming: I diet…but don’t focus on the minutiae of the process.
So anyway. Being “she”, being addressed as “ma’am”, all that stuff: it puts a spring in my step and makes me feel very up. Whereas “he” just clumps like lead in my day.
Leading to the obvious question: should I ask? Should I mention? Or should I stay schtum and like it when people get it right?