Well: the GIC got back again. They appear to have had a cancellation, so i have the chance of a first interview in September – which brings everything three months forward.
But…but…this leaves me in something of a quandary. Should i even go?
Reasons for going: never burn your bridges. I might still need the NHS at some point. Sure, i’ve more or less decided to go the private route, but…if the NHS, by some miracle, got a move on, that could save me a very large sum of money.
Reasons for not going: everything i think i know about the NHS route is upsetting. It feels almost like a backward step now, kow-towing to a system that is going to demand that i “prove” my identity when in fact i’ve known who i am for some time now.
Fear too, that they will throw some spanner in the works and demand i stop hormones or something equally daft. Serious question: can they?
Then there’s the whole name thing…like they insist on using my former name, when in fact i am so far removed from it now.
Suppose also i feel it might be wasting an appointment for someone else if i don’t intend to go forward – but i think that’s just excuse. I don’t KNOW i won’t use them.
Ugh! Any sensible thoughts, comments, would be very welcome.