Young person’s guide to trans

Perhaps this will embarrass him one day. Like childhood pics that mums save up to show their darling boy’s first girlfriends.

But this particular thinking through seems priceless, charting, as it does, a new stage in the boy’s understanding of what is happening. He has been increasingly OK with the fact of my transition. Helped in no large part by the fact that his school has been supportive, the wonderful way in which other parents have been totally accepting, and the fairly widespread lack of negative comment.

Sometimes, that acceptance leads us to assume he knows stuff he doesn’t know. Like today.

In casual conversation, andrea got on to the subject of another (trans) friend. The boy was puzzled: she was always a girl, wasn’t she?

Er, no: some people start out living as a girl and end up as a boy: some start as boys and end up as girls.

“That’s not possible!”

On being assured that it was, and that daddy was also following that route, there followed one of those thoughtful Paddington Bear-esque pauses that occur when he is processing new ideas.

Then: “In that case, daddy will have to stop sleeping in the same bed as you.”


Because that’s GAY! (He’s OK with trans…his views on other minorities still leave a lot to be desired….).

His solution? He would have to share a bed with his mum in future, whilst daddy slept elsewhere. As modern twist to oedipal complex, that is beyond beating.

I believe mum then did explain to the boy that there’s nothing wrong with being gay…though she had neither the heart nor energy to mention that incest remains a bit of a societal taboo.



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