Andrea blames the hormones. I blame andrea – at least at one remove. Tesco were mostly civilised about it.
Monday afternoon i did what i have never – as i remember – ever done before: which is walk out of tesco without paying.
Its those new diy check-outs. i much prefer using them, because they are so much faster. Although people do tend to forget stuff.
I have lost one credit card over the last year at a diy check-out. The other day i handed in £15 that someone had forgotten to collect by way of change.
That made me think: the occasional glitch in the check-out means tesco probably lose the occasional item to individual carelessness and computer error. But if people leave them extra cash…perhaps its not total loss.
Anyway, i scanned my shopping, scanned my clubcard and, according to the security guard later, just put the bags in my trolley and walked off. Eeeek! I am turning into one of THOSE sorts of old ladies, twenty years too soon.
So was it the hormones? It is true, i have been scattier later. But then, i had also been up for three all-night parties in the three preceding nights. I was sleep-deprived, your Honour.
Worse, the lack of sleep led me to rush out the house to shop without doing my hair, attending to facial bristle, or even dabbing on a spot of mascara. The realisation hit me half way round Tesco, at which point i could have died.
By the time i reached the check-out, i was in a state of total panic: just wanted out. So my guess is that it was more sleep than hormones (and andrea failing to point out what a mess i looked!).
Tesco were good. Or rather, the local management were good. According to inside sources (ner! don’t try and track them down, Tesco: i’m a journalist and if i didn’t have a pretty good inkling of what goes down in your canteen, what use would i be?) one rather daft manager wanted the police summoned and/or a lifetime ban from the store.
Excuse me? Wearing my legal hat, i know the police would not be best pleased: there was no intent to remove the goods (as evidenced by my scanning my personal id) so it would be a bit of a waste. As for marketing: Tesco nationally are well aware of the average value of a family shopper.
Frighteningly, we probably spend £5k-£6k per year in our local Tesco: what on earth is achieved by banning someone who spends that sort of money with you?
But still: wiser counsels prevailed. Dan, the store manager was sympathetic. Just as well, because i was upset – and less sympathetic handling would probably have meant a lot of tears. Ditto Gary the security guard who, most unjustly, i was wary of when first i came out.
Thanks – and hopefully i didn’t embarrass him too much by giving him a big hug before parting.
And that’s it. I was a little nervous for a few days about going back. But i’ve been back: not stolen anything else; and my brief career as dotty old crone is, fingers crossed, over.