Trans: a boy’s perspective

i hope no-one takes exception to this. Those who know myself and andrea locally will also know most of our family. Those who don’t will, likely, never meet us.

So if there is any down side to this post, it is that our boy – now at the advanced age of five and just over a quarter – may one day be ever so slightly embarrassed by it.

As he is likely to be when his mum gets round to showing a selection of embarrasing childhood photos to his first teenage romantic interest.

So here goes. At the outset, we discussed how to deal with my transition – and decided that for a five-year-old, trans meant very little. Far more damaging for andrea and i to fall out – which thankfully, we haven’t. Otherwise, though, the consensus was that what he grows up with, he would get used to.

Which, more or less, he has. Initially, there was some resistance to my being dressed en femme. The boy reacted logically – and crossly – with: “if daddy is going to wear a skirt – he should be wearing a bra too!” He then grabbed a bra from his mum’s clothing pile and offered it up in evidence.

A week or so later the revelation that a friend’s dad also dressed as a woman – taking the part of a panto dame in a local production – provoked a bout of serious thoughtfulness on his part.

More recently, he has been re-ordering his world view. An exchange with his mum went: “why is it that some people call daddy ‘John’ and some people call daddy ‘Jane’?” As andrea explained that i like to be Jane, another thoughtful pause was followed by the declaration that “Well: i shall call daddy ‘John'”.

Similar checking of his world view seemed to be taking place in the car recently, when he declared – in respect of some household obligation that “mummy will decide – but daddy is really in charge”. Hmmm. Now there IS a big debate for the future…

Last but by no means least has been our own local outbreak of political correctness. Putting two and two together, the boy concluded, triumphantly: “daddy likes wearing a skirt – so daddy is gay.”

andrea put him right: “daddy isn’t gay. daddy is trans”. No further explanation required. One short and simple word substituted for another short and simple word seemed to be enough for the boy.

So far then, no obvious traumas.


1 Response so far »

  1. 1

    spirifer said,

    After visiting yous earlier in the week, I asked our 6 year old what she thought.

    Her main interest was R, with the chickens (Ernie?) on much of a par, together with the “skinny cat”, (our cats are “REALLY fat!”), but the “nice ladies” were very low on the list! Sorry.


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