Living in role

This is the biggy right now: the thing that’s expected of me by the various health professionals into whose hands i have committed my body for the next umpteen years.

I may think i’m trans, know i’m trans. But i still need to prove it.

That means, as far as i can tell, dressing, coming out and changing as much documentation as i can. So far, it has also involved regular and fairly painful application of an epilator.

Say no more – except that today, andrea was running the infernal device over those parts of the body i can’t reach. if that doesn’t show commitment, i don’t know what does.

Strangely, the most difficult place to be “in role” is on the phone, professionally. As a writer and journalist, i need to get reaction and comment to stories i write.

i rarely pretend to be someone i’m not – but that possibility always exists. As far as the rules go, i’m only supposed to do that where there’s a public interest in the answer – and i have good reason to believe that i won’t get an honest answer by being upfront.

Anyway: the folks i deal with are difficult at the best of times – and being jane on the phone has already caused a few hitches: its slowed down conversations; led to additional explanation being required; extra barriers being put in my way.

So: if i was still john, i’d be whoever i need to be on the phone according to circs. But if i’m jane, being me gets in the way of gathering info.

Since my work role allows me to pretend, does that mean i can pretend to be john on occasion? Or am i now supposed to work in ways i wouldn’t have worked before to gain “in role” brownie points?

Basically, have i got to work differently to prove i can still do the same stuff?

jane
xx

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