The pregnancy test

Nah. Fooled you! Course i’m not. That would be a miracle too far – even for the miracle-workers of modern medicine.

Just a random thought running on from my last post. All about how some people kindly felt that, since transition could be a stressful time, i would be better off spending more time with my family.

Is it discriminatory?

Hmmm. The test: just try substituting the word “pregnancy” for “transition”. I think you’ll get the idea.

Then again, this is a dangerous train of thought and one i ought, perhaps, to disembark from at once.

Because so much news print is spilt on worrying that trans women might turn out to regret their decision. Medical – and psychiatric – ink too is poured out on the same issue. Its just…

Well, pregnancy is a pretty big, life-changing decision. Sometimes people regret pregnancies. I won’t even start on abortions which may be the right decision for some individuals and, on occasion, the absolute wrong decision.

Yes. People regret getting pregnant. They regret getting unpregnant. Come to think of it, they regret all manner of things, from eating the last slice of pie through to having their breasts enlarged.

Oddly, i find very little evidence of counselling, therapy or anything else for a host of decisions as life-changing as transition.

Whyever not?

Why should transition be viewed as so uniquely in need of anti-regret precautions?

jane

2 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    jamtartfairy said,

    Why should transition be viewed as so uniquely in need of anti-regret precautions?

    From my point of view, it feels as though it’s because you’re not adding a bit here or taking a bit away there (eg eating the last slice of pie, getting bigger boobs, taking away your hair colour…), you’re changing a lot of your physical exterior at once. And for people who have been lucky enough to be born into the right body to match the gender (eg me), it’s quite difficult for us to imagine it being easy.

    I hope that made sense😕

    xx

  2. 2

    vanessal said,

    Why should transition be viewed as so uniquely in need of anti-regret precautions?

    It shouldn’t. I agree completely. Pregnancy is a huge, life-changing decision (one with which I have recently been grappling). It is a commitment that one makes for life…. and which creates a story that will be carried on long after. When people enter into such a relationship with their child-to-be, it is for the rest of their lives, through challenges and joys. Ultimately, my partner’s and my choice to be parents was made because we want to experience that relationship to our child, to each other, and to ourselves in a new role; we believe we have something to learn and to offer as parents. It’s not an easy decision (and for us, it’s not going to happen by accident!).

    I don’t think it’s very different for someone who wants to enter into a new relationship to themselves through transition, and through that relationship, experience all the joys and challenges of relating to others as this self. I imagine the decision to be even more important (and perhaps more clear? though, i don’t know) for someone who feels the decision will bring them closer to, or completely to who they authentically are.

    Do both of us need therapy? or neither? I’m guessing that it depends, as therapy does, on the situation and the person. There are so many decisions, as you point out that should not be taken lightly. If one is struggling with a particular decision, then by all means, go to counselling, or take the precautions necessary until you are comfortable with the outcome. If you are clear about your decision, and know what you want/need, then perhaps these precautions are not necessary.

    Congratulations, Jane. We should all be inspired by your decision, and your courage to write about it.


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