church in a state

Only a week behind – and catching up rapidly. About this time last friday, i received a visit from my parish priest.

i was very pleased he came round, and both andrea and i found him friendly, sympathetic and pretty helpful. Sticking points? Well, so far, not the trans thing. Though i can see a point where it could be.

As far as the church is concerned, i am me: i remain me whatever i do to my body – whether i have a heart transplant, or grow tits. Gender is therefore not something i can change exactly – although since my soul is probably asexual that is something that won’t be a problem in the after-life.

No. They would be unhappy if i cross over (in moral terms) into the realm of “creating myself”. Not being a theologian, i can’t quite pinpoint what the fault would be in that case, but i sense that it would be pretty serious: an assertion of self over everything else.

i can live with that. What i am doing now is not a re-making: merely an adjustment of the outer to fit what has been inside for a very long time. So there we are: being trans is not a bar to church or acceptance within church. Good stuff.

Now the awkwardness – and the minor comedy. All these discussion have brought to light the fact that my last marriage was never annulled. So i probably need to get that sorted out and, with the help of the selfsame priest, i intend to do just that.

because according to the church, once married in church, you can’t be unmarried just because the state says so.

What then of myself and andrea? Well: we can marry perfectly legitimately now. The only bar would be my being incapable of performing my conjugal duties – and that is not going to be the cae for some time to come.

Once contracted in marriage, we remain so. If at a later date i go ahead with my transition: take my tablets; have my surgery; then we would still be married.

Huh? Church in lesbian marriage approval chock horror?

Not exactly. The state automatically dissolves marriages after gender re-assignment, because…it doesn’t recognise same sex marriages and as far as state is concerned, we would be. Same sex, that is.

The church, on t’other hand, will regard me as forevermore masculine. So my body may be an odd shape for a guy, but… deep down i’m still a guy. So we stay married.

How very curious.



1 Response so far »

  1. 1

    Jane, vivo com uma pessoa a quatro anos e a quase dois anos ele se veste como uma mulher. Eu também não disfiz esta união pois, sei que o amor é importante e apesar disso nós nos amamos.O amor é tudo!
    Gostaria muito de ter a oportunidade de conversar contigo, mas, não falo Inglês.
    Aquardo seu contado.

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