Fall-out: the nutters

I really shouldn’t get out of practice on this blog. So apologies to anyone interested in reading it for the temporary lull – occasioned both by my recent foray into confessional journalism, and the fall-out that followed.

On the whole, we were pretty pleased with what the Daily Mail published. We had some control over how we were quoted – and felt that the journalist doing the interview was both well-intentioned and courteous throughout.

OK. Maybe a slight case of journalism eating itself: but we set out to get a positive story into the press about a couple staying together after one half turns trans – and as far as middle-brow england is concerned, that is what we achieved.

Of course it evoked criticism from many who dislike trans in one form or another. Everything has been thrown our way, in comments on the Mail and elsewhere, that might be presumed to be hurtful.

i look “unconvincing” (a little like a trucker, as one individual politely commented, thereby presuming that truckers must by definition be ugly. Or maybe they meant “truck”…but had a little local difficulty with their spelling).

Poor andrea was a widespread reaction, and not wholly unfair. After all, this is a major life-changing event that she didn’t sign up for when we met. She is still working her way through how it makes her feel.

By contrast, how selfish i must be, to inflict this on partner, children, family, etc., etc. Oddly, i agree with that analysis. It was a major obstacle to my finally coming out: the thought of what this would do to those who know me. In the end, the counter-thought was what this would do to me if i DIDN’T.

Most of my life has been spent supporting others. This is a big, essential, selfish act – and also a very necessary one.

Too, there was loads of stuff to which i will return about the fact i can never be a “real” woman. Hmmm. I’d buy that – though the thought is far more complicated than what most of them have posted.

In the end, though, i have few complaints, and the nastiness has done little to prick me. i always knew it was there. this changes little and, thankfully, places it in the context of many many times more people being supportive.

Thanks for all the kind words…but on the whole, the nay-sayers have done little to hurt.



3 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Laura said,

    Hey Jane,

    This is Laura, Vivien’s daughter. Just wanted to say, I’ve been following your blog for a while now and have nothing but the utmost respect and admiration for what you’re doing. I think you’re incredibly brave and, for what it’s worth, you’ve got my full support. All the best to both you and Andrea, and the girls and Rafe too.

  2. 2

    jamtartfairy said,

    Yes, I was wondering where the posts were! Hugs and kisses xxx

  3. 3

    Karen said,

    Hi Jane,

    Probably stating the obvious, but I really felt that some of the criticism of The Mail piece met with was bad, old fashioned academic bitchism. With the possible exception of branches of the pagan community, I’ve never known anything like it for going after people, baying for blood. Academics / activists in this area are not only trying to promote their business interests, but also (unfortunately) trying to validate their own self-identification as a result. You have the guts to be yourself – there’s many who’ll be incredibly threatened by that and will try and take you down physically, intellectually or emotionally.

    Secondly, as you’ve said elsewhere, your Mail piece was intended for a specific audience. While I thought they did pull one or two fast ones (Charles Kane ref), it did remarkably well and made you appear rather funky. What’s more, I was keen that you and Andrea have been depicted (both in the Mail and elsewhere) as rounded people, rather than ciphers. Far harder to dismiss someone that you can picture going on a girls’ night out with, IMHO.

    Take care of yourselves.


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