June 19, 2012 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged bullying, bullying report, complaint, Daily Mail, daily telegraph, gender variant, inaccurate, inclusivity, laura clark, lgbt, misleading, no place for bullying, ofsted, pcc, press complaints commission, schools, trans, transgender
Bullying is bad. A bit less bullying at school would be a good idea. Schools that put in place policies and approaches that reduce the incidence of bullying – often based around perceived difference on the part of minorities – should be praised.
All pretty unexceptional ideas. But not, apparently, if you write for the Daily Mail. Read the rest of this entry »
December 20, 2011 · Filed under News Feed · Tagged bullying, canada, human right, michael miltenberger, north west territory, trans cringe, transphobia
The Finance Minister of Canada’s Northwest Territory, Michael Miltenberger has been reported to the Human Rights Commission. He is accused of discriminating against a woman in Fort Smith, NWT, during a visit by the Governor General to Aurora College campus on 9 December because she is transgender.
September 20, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged bullying, complaint, deepings swimming club, girls, http://www.deepingssc.co.uk/, intimidation, teenage, transphobia
Enough is enough and therefore, following this weekend’s latest bullying from girls who i think are members of the local swimming club, i put a shot across the bows of that club’s chairman.
I spoke to the leisure centre management – and followed up with a note directly to the chair. At base, what i am getting is just downright rude – though it also has the effect of intimidating and upsetting me.
A colleague, with whom i discussed this yesterday mentioned that girls of the age in question are likely feeling insecure in their own gender identity. Agreed. Hence why, to date, i’ve tended to be fairly gentle, viewing this as being as much about their fears as their aggression towards me.
Still, though, there comes a limit and this – the point at which i start to feel acutely nervous every time i have to enter a particular changing room – has to be it.
Yes: i agree they may be nervous. However, while we might concede that nervouseness or insecurity explains sexist behaviour by boys or even racist behaviour by teenagers, we wouldn’t allow it to continue: we’d politely but firmly require them to stop. And if they still carried on, then we’d escalate.
In this case, the girls appear to belong to a club with whom, of all the bodies that exist locally, i have had most grief in the past. The club itself has had multiple chances to engage with me – and taken none of them.
It would not in the least surprise me if the girls weren’t echoing sentiments expressed sotto voce (or possibly not so sotto) in the home.
Adults have a responsibility too.
So…the club chair is engaged: and if he will do nothing, then next stop is the council and their diversity unit.
jane
xx
April 13, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged bullying, school, transphobia, transphobic bullying
This starts with another of the boy’s bon mots (and yes, pedants: I know its “bons mots”…but only if you actually ARE French).
Anyway, since we are currently being filmed, last week we had the obligatory visit from the psych. Thankfully, an –ologist, who spat at the mention of psychiatrists. We got on.
She chatted to myself and andrea. To Tash and the cat. OK. I may be exaggerating about the cat. And she also spoke with the boy. Not 100% sure why we were being interviewed, beyond that it is part of the production company’s “duty of care” and they are trying to ensure a) that we aren’t actually barking and b) that we aren’t about to be psychologically harmed by featuring in a fly on the wall documentary.
Barking? Moi?
{wibble}
So the psych takes boy out into the garden. He likes this, since she is a pretty young lady and, courtesy of growing up with two teenage sisters, boy has a thing about young ladies.
Conversation ensues, with the psych eventually inquiring: “tell me about your family” and, as the boy seems fairly non-plussed, encouraging him to think aloud about anything “unusual” .
Hmmm. Boy racks his brain and suggests: “we have chickens”. True. But not quite what the psych was interested in. Anything else? “And a fish?”
Ye-es. Thinking about your mummy and daddy: you call your daddy “Jane”. Is that at all unusual.
“Oh, that. Well that’s because she’s trans!”
Out of the mouths of babes…and all that. Basically, he’s got it – at 6. I’m trans , and that’s that.
Unhappy part two
If only. I’d like to be able to stop the story there, but there is a slightly less happy coda to it.
Over the weekend, I chatted to the boy about school and related subjects. He got serious. “Sometimes”, he said,”I wish you weren’t a girl”.
Why?
Because…and here he got a bit vaguer…some of…all of…the pupils in the school make fun because of that some of the time, once upon a time, all of the time.
I didn’t press. Pressing turns the ordinary into a serious issue and although he had raised it, the sense from both myself and andrea is that he isn’t suffering too badly from this. All kids get flak for something: my daughter got bullied for, inter alia, being half Italian.
I think some of his school “friends” do tease him about my transition some of the time, particularly, as he suggests, when there aren’t any adults around.
Is there anything to be done about it? Probably not. Not unless it gets to be really bad, at which point action would need to happen.
As it is, some teasing, some bullying probably goes down but, as far as I am aware, not a lot worse than what happens to others in his year for a variety of reasons. A pity, though, they can’t all be as laid back about trans stuff as he is.
jane
xx
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